Centers of the Universe
Anyone driving slower than me is a grandma; everyone driving faster is a maniac.
Everyone with a car nicer than mine is overcompensating; everyone with a less nice car is driving a piece of junk.
Anyone who wakes up earlier than me is a workaholic; anyone who sleeps in is lazy.
Everyone who dresses fancier than me is showing off; everyone who dresses more casually has given up.
Anyone who orders more food than me is a glutton; anyone who orders less is on a needless diet.
Everyone who is on their phone more than me is addicted; anyone who uses it less is out of touch.
Anyone who talks more than me dominates the conversation; anyone who talks less is antisocial.
Everyone who works longer hours than me is a robot; anyone who works fewer hours isn't serious about their job.
Anyone who reads more books than me is a nerd; anyone who reads fewer is uneducated.
Everyone who travels more than me is a wanderlust addict; anyone who travels less is a homebody.
Memories of Youth in the Countryside - by Franz Grillparzer
An English translation of the poem "Memories of Youth in the Countryside" by Franz Grillparzer
This is the bench, these are the same trees,
Where once, the dark schoolbook in hand,
Fearful of the exam, head full of spring dreams,
Years ago, the boy often found himself.
There he sat, from the dark letters,
To many a foreign word heavily joined,
His gaze drifted up to those fresh leaves,
In which the west wind playfully sways.
And spirits of future shapes and creations
And the joy of future achievements
Appeared to him in the bending of the treetops,
Sounded to him in a heart full of premonition.
The barely dared hope was fulfilled,
The premonition held what it had foretold,
The golden gates of action stand open,
One step succeeded, a second was ventured.
And now, after many years' intervals,
Matured into a man, weighed and recognized,
I find myself again under these trees,
My gaze, as then, turned upwards,
And sighs, swelling as then, lift
The weary chest, heavy with many a worry,
Until the tear, which is no longer given,
Everything is as it was then, all around.
Unsatisfied heart, why are you troubled?
What you so ardently desired, stands here!
The hour of fulfillment has come,
You have what your wish saw in the distance.
What? or was the abundance of colorful images
Not the content of what you desired,
Just the outer shell of deeper longing,
Only the garment of what you found desirable?
Did you perhaps strive to create beauty,
To feel more beautiful yourself with it?
Was striding in the fields of knowledge's light
Also a step in the land of desire for you?
Did you perhaps long for honor and fame,
Blending in thoughts, youthful,
The eye with which the world views the man,
And that with which he views himself?
Did the world with its vast distances
Seem to you a primeval image, worthy of imitation?
Where it shimmered, did you dream of stars?
Of reality at every sweet illusion?
O deceiver from the beginning, you, o life!
I entered pure as a young man with you,
Pure was my heart and pure all my striving,
But you paid me with deceit and illusion.
Friendship spoke, my inner self echoed,
We, two, boldly swam away from the shore.
He sank, I still held him, he pulled me down
And exhausted, saved himself to land.
More powerful secret drives stirred,
An unknown longing awoke,
They called it, I myself called it love,
And pursued a lovely one's image.
Barely seen, no word from her heard,
She seemed to originate from a higher light,
Through mountains and valleys, ignited within,
I pursued her fleeing image.
Then came the day, the veil was torn,
Commonness stood where once an angel flew.
Narcissus-like, longing dreamed of itself,
And died, like him, at the spring that deceived it.
A curtain covers, what follows that place;
I do not lift it, mention is enough,
Two sphinxes rest at the hidden threshold,
The godhead attached to the animal body.
The entrance seems to justify hopes,
The end would be good enough as a beginning,
But before the spirit seizes the consequence,
The coarse deceit is already over.
There I found her, who will never escape me,
Who will never be replaced in my life,
I believed to find my bliss,
And my innermost being cried: only she!
Feeling, basking in the warmth of the heart,
Understanding, although overshadowed by kindness;
What she could do for others bordered on fairy tale,
What she denied herself, on halo.
The doubt that often darkly followed me:
Whether goodness exists? it was illuminated through her;
Man is good, I know it, for she lives,
Her heart is surety to me for a world.
In fiery embrace we plunged together,
Every beat sparked and gave light;
Yet indestructible we found ourselves in the flames,
We glowed, but alas, we did not melt.
For halves can be fitted together,
I was a whole and so was she,
She willingly would have left her deepest being,
But too tightly wound was the wreath.
Thus both stood, trying to unite,
To completely absorb the other,
But all in vain, despite struggling, storming, weeping,
She remained a woman, and I was always I.
Yes, to the point of anger was heightened the effort,
Sought in the individual, what lay in the whole,
No fault was forgiven, no word any more,
And new torment brought each day.
Then I became hard. In the eternal play of the winds,
In the storm, never penetrated by the sun,
The stronger sapling wrapped itself in bark
Continuing the translation from where it left off:
The stronger sapling covered itself with bark,
The weaker one bent and was broken.
O blessed feeling of the early days,
Why did you have to be a dream?
Does beauty only live in image and legend,
And does reality consume it like fog?
Even there, not homeless in image and word,
I fled, like the sailor pressed by the sea,
As often as the storms opened the gate,
Into the protective area of that harbor.
Lying in the scent of foreign herbs,
Played by the gentle breeze of foreign treetops,
I saw in a dream the high ladder to heaven,
On which spirits ascend and descend.
And inspired to climb it myself,
To look around in the vast space,
I tried, returned, to describe,
What I had seen, half truth and half dream.
"The poor one, to whom a god turned away,
The poet's dazzling, sad fate,
How the mind ends in its own abyss,
The fleeting luck of earthly greatness."
And blazingly I recounted the vision,
The listener, though cold, did not escape me,
For the pulse of life ran through my songs,
And true, like my feeling, was my poem.
Foreseeing I dared to say to the great,
Already enveloped in fame like sacrificial smoke:
As high as you no wing may carry me,
But, masters, look! a painter I am too.
Then came sobriety in its nakedness,
Thinking itself great, because hollow but wide;
It measured my human greatness in inches,
The substance's solidity in pounds and ounces.
But can a formula ever create life?
What is monstrous is not necessarily great.
A possibility towers over all distances,
The real only shows itself in space.
Where a thousand tints my eyes discerned,
Dull-mindedness saw stark green and blue,
Where riddles led me on to further riddles,
To them the truth was quite precisely known.
Was a meadow where I picked flowers,
Freshly driven there was the cattle breeding!
Where only their footstep pressed into the ground,
Lay mud and grass in disgusting mix.
What not to say, that was the talk,
What not to express, that was their word;
Even if you disdain their weapons for the feud,
It's nonsense to choose their ground.
Forms, that my spirit embraced in fervor,
Roughness laid its filthy hand on them,
I saw the mark on the desecrated cheeks,
And my soul, it felt estranged.
And as man avoids the most beautiful, precious place,
Once something horrible has visited it,
So my spirit fled from my youth's gardens,
Appalled by the betrayal of its holiest.
Hard on its heels the long line of malice,
Envy, hate, armed to behold,
Their arrows hit with double impact,
For, alas, who sings, cannot go in armor;
And if he faces them, aiming at him,
Seizes the angry equipment of strife,
The heavy armor presses hard calluses,
Over which the sense of feeling escapes.
So I fled from the combat's fiery burden
Back to nature, where life recreates itself,
I pressed my chest to Mother Earth,
To rise again in strength like Antaeus.
But she, who often fought my cause,
Who so often and gladly comforted me before,
Had lost the language for me,
The language, or I the ear for her.
Formerly docile at her pious side,
Now only stubborn creation seemed gain to me,
Her word faded in the expanse of my chest,
Her sign disappeared before my dull sense.
And shuddering before the world and its actions,
Scorning every bond it weaves,
I could not live it, could not describe it,
And almost could not bear the sight.
Yes, listening to the inner gentle voices,
My soul shudders when it seems,
A tone rings, echoed by tones,
With which the common drove me away.
Where once the boy dreamed, sat and pondered.
If only I had what I lost again,
How gladly I would give what I have gained since then.
The Angela Problem
Have thought about different instances of this problem across many years.
The specific -trivial- case:
Latest witnessed manifestation/reminder: Walking into a cafe where one big communal table is occupied by 8 people on their laptops (some drinking from their own refillable water bottles) no one seemed to be consuming anything. Sitting down at a small table, wanted to write for 20 minutes and lady at the counter told us no laptops at that table.
At the surface this makes sense: tables need to turn for the café to make money. Super sympathetic and understandable.
But the real issue is generalized rules that are the results of passive-aggresive avoidance of confrontation.
Any business owner wants people to come, consume, have a great time and move-on. The issue is when people start coming with laptops and sitting down for hours without consuming anything. The simplest solution is to ban laptops (and make the chairs and tables tiny and uncomfortable). That is because no one wants to confront a patron, let alone dozens of them every day.
One café we used to go to had at first look a quite direct message on each table along the lines of: You have the table for 2 hours, this is a restaurant!.
People abusing cafés as free coworking spaces forces owners/operators into this but the Angela problem (named after Angela from the office) is to pick a suboptimal passive aggressive policy instead of thinking about something a bit more fair for everyone, for example:
- Hello we are a restaurant that makes money by selling food and coffee. If you want to stay on this table for more than 90 minutes please keep ordering or give your table to a new patron, thanks!!
The META Problem(s)
Culture, Behaviors and Norms
I am actually not This passionate about café policies! But I do witness this type of behavior across teams and organization big and small. What should be one hard discussion a manager or HR need to do with one employee becomes a passive agressive policy implemented on hundreds of people.
What should be one confrontation of bad behavior in a group becomes a set of rules and guidelines and “reminders” about the rules and guideliness sent to dozens/hundreds of people.
Compensation and Rentention
In Order to avoid confrontation and awkward discussions many companies approach compensation when it comes to giving raises and bonuses the same way. Here’s the total budget, top performers get a 6% increase and ‘middle performers’ 3% and maybe even the bottom groups gets a small raise too.
Instead, top absolute top performers should be getting 50 or a 100% raises and bonuses and the rest getting a tough conversation instead. So the top performers are perpetually demotivated and end up leaving and the organization trends towards mediocrity.
Confrontation is NOT FUN! But if that’s what it takes to spare the majority from getting barraged with reminders about some guideliness then it is worth it.
James Clerk Maxwell
“The prevalence of a misdirected tendency proves the misdirection of a prevalent tendency. It is the object and nature of this tendency that calls for examination.”
A few days ago I finished reading “The Man who changed everything” and I came out incredibly impressed by James Maxwell as a scientist, thinker and human being.
Having studied physics and electrical engineering I was familiar with Maxwell’s equations and his work in electromagnetic waves but had no idea how much he contributed in so many diverse fiellds:
Maxwell the scientist:
Color vision: “Maxwell's major paper in optics, On the Theory of Colour Vision, was presented to the Royal Society of London in 1860 and was awarded the Rumford Medal. It showed that colour blindness was due to individuals being unable to recognise red light and conclusively proved his theory of three primary colours. Most of the experiments for this work were conducted in Maxwell's London home with the help of his wife, Katherine Mary Dewar daughter of the Principle of Marchisal College, Aberdeen. These were wonderfully constructed and made use of a colour box designed by Maxwell himself.”
Kinetic theory of Gases: “At this time the common conception had been that all the molecules in a gas travelled at the same speed but Maxwell noticed that these collisions would result in particles having different speeds. He realised that to advance in this area it was necessary to calculate the speeds of different molecules. Maxwell achieved this by creating the formula that is now known as Maxwell's Distribution. This was ground-breaking as it was the first time the matter had been considered to be probabilistic. Austrian physicist, Ludwig Boltzmann subsequently modified it, in 1868, to explain heat conduction, producing the Maxwell-Boltzmann Distribution Law.”
Besides its direct application this work opened up an new approach to physics. Which led to statistical mechanics,, to a proper understanding of thermodynamics and to the use of probility distributions in quantum mechanics. (From the book -TMWCE)
“Most creative scientists, even the most prolific and versatile, produce one theory per subject. When that theory has run its course they move on to another topic, or stop inventing. Maxwell was unique in the way he could return to a topic and imbue it with new life by taking an entirely fresh approach.” (TMWCE)
His thought experiment: “Maxwell’s Demon” helped spark the creation of information theory.
His paper “On Governors” was the first mathematical analysis of control systems and became the foundation of modern control theory.
Maxwell the human:
Friend and Classmate: “Of Maxwell's geniality and kindness of heart you will have had many instances. Every one who knew him at Trinity can recall some kindness or some act of his which has left an ineffaceable impression of his goodness on the memory—for “good” Maxwell was, in the best sense of the word”
Advice from one of the greatest scientific minds of all time was dispensed with unfailing generosity and humour. His students loved him. (TMWCE)
He wrote funny poems, pocked fun at friends and colleagues (cf Richard Feynma/Claude Shannon)
“As he had been in health, so was he in sickness and in face of death. The calmness of his mind was never once disturbed. His sufferings were acute for some days after his return to Cambridge, and, even after their mitigation, were still of a kind to try severely any ordinary patience and fortitude. But they were never spoken of by him in a [412] complaining tone. In the midst of them his thoughts and consideration were rather for others than for himself.” (His Physician Dr Paget)
Resources:
Full engagement notes 2
BEAR IN MIND
• Spiritual energy provides the force for action in all dimensions of our lives. It fuels passion, perseverance and commitment.
• Spiritual energy is derived from a connection to deeply held val ues and a purpose beyond our self-interest.
. Character-the courage and conviction to live by our deepest values-is the key muscle that serves spiritual energy.
• The key supportive spiritual muscles are passion, commitment, integrity and honesty.
Spiritual energy expenditure and energy renewal are deeply interconnected.
Spiritual energy is sustained by balancing a commitment to a purpose beyond ourselves with adequate self-care.
Spiritual work can be demanding and renewing at the same time.
• Expanding spiritual capacity involves pushing past our com fort zone in precisely the same way that expanding physical ca pacity does.
• The energy of the human spirit can override even severe limita tions of physical energy.
Dialy stoic notes
The four virtues: Courage, self control, justice, wisdom
Questions: "What is the best way to live?" "What do I do about my anger?" "What are my obligations to my fellow human beings?" "I'm afraid to die; why is that?" "How can I deal with the difficult situations I face?" "How should I handle the success or power I hold?"
The disciplines:
The Discipline of Perception (how we see and perceive the world around us)
The Discipline of Action (the decisions and actions we take-and to what end)
The Discipline of Will (how we deal with the things we cannot change, attain clear and convincing judgment, and come to a true understanding of our place in the world)
Perception =clarity.
Action = effectiveness.
Will=wisdom & perspective
Control your perceptions, direct your actions properly, willingly accept what is outside your control.
Power of full engagement notes
COMMON PERFORMANCE BARRIERS
Lack of trust in others
Lack of integrity
Indecisive
Poor listening skills
Lack of passion
Low self-confidence
Poor communication skills
Lack of empathy
Overly dependent
Poor work-life balance
Negative/pessimistic
thinking
Low energy
Impatience
Defensiveness
Negative attitude
Critical of others
Low stress tolerance
Moody/irritable
Poor team player
Inflexible/rigid
Unfocused
High anxiety
Poor time
management
Leading with Character
List of Character Traits from the book “Leading with Character”
1. Adaptability: You adjust well to changing conditions (performance strength (P)).
2. Adventurous Spirit: You seek exciting challenges for personal exploration (P).
3. Affection: You openly show warmth and caring toward others (moral strength (M)).
4. Ambition: You are goal-oriented and goal-directed (P).
5. Authenticity: Your Public and Private Voices are aligned; you are genuine (M).
6. Compassion: You feel a deep, abiding concern for the suffering of others, combined with the aspiration to do something to relieve it (M).
7. Competitiveness: You enjoy pitting your skills against the skills of others (P).
8. Confidence: You believe in abilities (P). your
9. Creativity: You generate original, spontaneous thinking and solutions (P).
10. Critical Thinking: You think in a reality-based way (P). 11. Curiosity: You are inquisitive; you want to understand how
things work (P).
12. Decisiveness: You make definitive choices (P).
13. Dependability: You can be counted on to meet your commitments (M).
14. Determination/Persistence/Grit: You rally your strength of will to overcome obstacles; you refuse to give up (P).
15. Discernment: You seek the deeper causes of things (P).
16. Empathy: You experience what others are thinking and feeling (M).
17. Engagement with Others: You bring your full and best energy to the present moment in your interactions with others (M).
18. Focus: You can control your attention (P). 19. Forgiveness: You are able to clear the record for those who have harmed you (M).
20. Fortitude: You fight relentlessly for what's right (P).
21. Generosity: You share whatever you have with others (M). 22. Gratitude: You feel sincere appreciation for what you have (M).
23. Honor: Your actions and decisions reflect the highest ethical
standards (M).
24. Humility: You are modest and highly aware of your short comings (M).
25. Humor: You can laugh at yourself and the ironies of life (P).
26. Justice: You are fair in your dealings with others (M). 27. Kindness/Love/Care: You have a deep regard and affection for
others (M). 28. Love of Learning: You find joy in discovering new things (P).
29. Loyalty: You are faithful to your friends, family, and associates (M).
30. Moral Courage: You act in accordance with what you believe is right despite any risk or negative consequences to you or to others (M).
31. Moral Integrity: You act in accordance with what you judge to be right (M).
32. Motivation: You energize yourself to act (P).
33. Open-Mindedness: You are receptive to new ideas and thoughts (P).
34. Optimism: You generate strong belief and faith in a positive future (P).
35. Organization: You are orderly (P).
36. Patience: You accept imperfections in others (M).
37. Personal Courage: You act in accordance with what you believe is the right thing to do despite any risks or negative consequences to you (P).
38. Positivity: You view the world through the eyes of opportunity rather than survival (P).
39. Prudence: You exercise good judgment (P).
40. Punctuality: You honor time commitments (P).
41. Resiliency: You bounce back from disappointment or loss (P).
42. Respect: You treat everyone with dignity (M).
43. Seeking Challenges: You constantly look for ways to expand current limits by stepping outside your comfort zone (P).
44. Self-Awareness: You have reality-based perceptions of yourself (P).
45. Self-Control/Willpower: You mobilize the necessary energy to exercise restraint over your impulses, desires, and emotions, and to fulfill
your intentions (P).
46. Tough-Mindedness/Mental Toughness: You control your thoughts; you are mentally strong and focused (P).
47. Trust: You believe in the basic goodness of others (M).
48. Truthfulness: You accurately report events and facts as you know them (M).
49. Vitality/Vigor: You feel energetic; you feel enthusiasm for life (P).
50. Wisdom: You formulate insights into the deeper meaning of life (P).
After: Transitioning
I enjoyed the book “Finish Big” by Bo Burlingham. The book tackles exiting your business but instead of only focusing on the preparation at the company itself and the financials it focuses on the mental/personal preparation founders need to do the transition to a happy life post exit. The 6 elements for a happy exit mentioned in the book are:
Purpose: unified purpose behind what I do
Identity: I derive a sense of who I am from what I do
Tribe: Community of people around me who I can be part of
Sense of Achievement: Progress, a sense that I am personally developing and making an impact/not stagnating.
Creative Control: I come up with ideas, improve them with others and see them executed.
Structure: Something I can commit to on a daily basis
Why Start A Startup
It all begins with an idea.
(I wrote this article in March 2018: reposting here)
Why Start Something?
On quite a regular basis, people come to us at AstroLabs asking, “How do I start a startup?” or “Where do I find investors or co-founders for this new startup?”
While these are very important questions. A question that should be considered much earlier is “Why should I start a startup?”
First a quick clarification: unlike commonly used definitions of a startup as either a “new technology company” or “a company with very fast growth” I am using startup in the simplest definition “a new venture that brings two or more people together to achieve a mission that one person alone cannot achieve.” This also applies to starting a social enterprise, a mission-driven social group, a small company, or other forms.
Here are some attempts to answer that question without going into the specifics about what type of startup to launch– we’ll tackle that one once we get more tangible/practical in an upcoming post. (1)
For now, let’s start with the absolute fundamentals: a truly fulfilling life is a life that has meaning and growth. (2)
Meaning arises from a variety of sources such as spiritual beliefs, life missions, and other prime directives or personal values that afford you the sense that you are not wasting your time on this planet as a passive consumer.
Personal growth comes from (real) learning and facing tough and interesting challenges. There is no growth without challenge and while there are many different ways to find challenges that drive and excite you, a proven path is joining or starting an organization with a mission that resonates with your core values.
Joining a mission-driven startup is always a great option; however, finding one with the right people with whom you would want to spend this journey is more challenging than it seems. This is because the external messaging and internal values of an organization are not always coherent- something that’s not easy to uncover before joining an organization. (3) This often leads to attracting passionate people in the short term who later become disillusioned and cynical as a result of a misalignment between the actual culture and the personal values.
So, by elimination, if you have not been lucky in finding the right organization, one remaining option would be to start one and get together a group of people with similar values and ambitions.
Why does starting or joining a mission-driven organization lead to personal growth, again?
I will not even try to rehash the history of the collective human wisdom (See: Seneca, Nietzsche, most world religions, and others) on this, or even some more modern discussion about the topic.(4) But, in summary, just as light weights and sitting on the couch don’t build new muscles and lounging by the side of the pool does not turn you into Michael Phelps, living and working in the comfort of the easy and familiar doesn’t lead to significant personal growth. And a new venture, by definition, means entering the realm of the unfamiliar. Crossing that line may be uncomfortable for some, but the rewards of doing it is a fulfilling life of personal development and growth.
Aligning your values with the culture of the organization doesn’t mean that you have to necessarily work in an education startup if you believe in the power of education. Working on development programs for your team and other stakeholders might turn out to be even more fulfilling if you are able to see the outcome of your work, regardless of the industry of your company.
A quick caveat here is that it is definitely possible to start something new, fail and only blame the world for your failure and thus, learn little to nothing. However, the assumption is that, hopefully, the reader of this post isn’t that type of person. Same as you can spend long days in the office and not do anything of value; it’s not the process that counts as much as what you get out of it. Also worth noting is that struggle alone doesn’t lead to growth, sometimes it is just like beating your head against the wall, no upside.
In summary, what you should thrive for is a life focused on meaning and growth, and one of the ways of achieving growth is facing challenges that help you develop new skills, capabilities and tools. Similarly, one of the ways of achieving meaning is for this challenge to mirror your core values and lead to an objective you would be proud of once you start reflecting back on your life.
Finally, a preview of a few good lessons you might extract from your journey. Although really internalizing these will only come from experience itself, maybe this might give you a glimpse of what to expect (5):
· The easy path is always the harder one in the longer term
· Always be skeptical of any action you take to impress others
· Only work with people you respect and that share the same values
· Focus first on the quality of your product or service
· Curiosity is an infinitely rewarding quality (In fact a meta-quality: a quality that leads to even more qualities)
· You are able to avoid tough decisions, but you cannot escape them (otherwise said: You can never escape reality, you can only face the other way)
· More often, doing less (fewer tasks, fewer meetings) is a better choice than doing more.
· More interesting and sustainable outcomes come out of vigorous disagreements.
· Take advice from people who have been on journeys you admire, not in places you desire.
· Time is rarely the bottleneck, brain-share, creativity, and decision capacity are.
(1) In Part 2 I will cover why pursue a specific idea, and in Part 3 I will cover some of the early warning signs that you might be doing it for the wrong reasons. (Or combine both topics in the next post, if possible)
(2) Somehow (through teaching, experience, reflection, etc), by the time most people reach adulthood they have formed their internal model of what constitutes right and wrong, this is what I mean by personal values.
(3) Examples that come to mind are plenty: Non-profit organizations that advertise an important mission but are chockfull of bureaucrats who want to feel good about themselves, service firms that talk about impact and client importance but with internal incentives to promote employees who bring in the most money regardless of impact. A corporation with aspirational missions and visions, constantly being caught polluting, shipping faulty product, etc. Overall, read any mission statement and compare it to what the organization actually does.
(4) Recommended books on the topic: The Road Less Traveled (incredible book), Man’s Search for Meaning (interesting book), The Art of Possibility (surprisingly practical), Most of Stoic Philosophy (admittedly I have not read most of it), biographies of most interesting people (have yet to read one where the author had an amazingly easy life, most likely growth and success were achieved BECAUSE of hard times, not in spite of hard times), etc.
(5) I am looking forward to reading these and cringing in a few years. But cringing is a great way to learn humility.
Thanks to JP Aramouni and my wife for the feedback and corrections to an earlier version of this post.