Centers of the Universe
Anyone driving slower than me is a grandma; everyone driving faster is a maniac.
Everyone with a car nicer than mine is overcompensating; everyone with a less nice car is driving a piece of junk.
Anyone who wakes up earlier than me is a workaholic; anyone who sleeps in is lazy.
Everyone who dresses fancier than me is showing off; everyone who dresses more casually has given up.
Anyone who orders more food than me is a glutton; anyone who orders less is on a needless diet.
Everyone who is on their phone more than me is addicted; anyone who uses it less is out of touch.
Anyone who talks more than me dominates the conversation; anyone who talks less is antisocial.
Everyone who works longer hours than me is a robot; anyone who works fewer hours isn't serious about their job.
Anyone who reads more books than me is a nerd; anyone who reads fewer is uneducated.
Everyone who travels more than me is a wanderlust addict; anyone who travels less is a homebody.